i'm rather frustrated now i guess, rather pissed at my own life. quite some time ago, God told me to show Godly-love to those around me. i obeyed, i talked to whoever was alone, find out about their life, hear their problems, foster frienship with them and stuff like that. but things dun seem to work out though. its like everything just seems to wrong. when i try to help someone, things just gets worse. when i communicate with someone, i'll somehow create probs for them. if it's a girl i'm communicating with, rumours will start. everything just goes wrong. nothing seems to be right.
in the bible it states "Love your brother as yourself, this is the second commandment" somehow, i'm starting to lose faith in this verse. everytime i feel discouraged, this verse will come to mind, when things goes wrong, i'll rmbr this verse. but still..... nothing changed.
i realise something else too. i realise that sociable ppl do not get into as much trouble as anti-social ppl do. its like they can communicate with a whole grtoup of ppl from the opposite gender and nothing will happen, no rumour will occur, no trouble will be stirred up. somehow, i dunno how, but it seems to be telling me that only sociable ppl can communicate, and in turn show care and concern to their brothers and sisters in christ. i tried, i've seriously tried, showing care and concern to my brothers and sisters, but every single time, i'll get put down, ppl say thanks, but yet many more discouragements came.
i really dunno wat to do now, nothing seems to work out. guess i'll be a caveman for a week or so, lock myself out, dun communicate with anyone. if things improve by the slightest bit, then i'll just let it remain that way.... if not, i'll ask God to probably send some angel to those in need so that at least i dun create trouble for them too
so many ppl that i wanna help, but i seriously dunno how i can help too...... feel so helpless & hopeless at the same time.....
alfred has nothing to do at 21:18
